I must be in the phase of life where one takes inventory of the journey thus far. I have a treasure chest bursting with experiences that I could barely see while they were happening, and now is the time when I get to draw them out for inspection and reflection. This process has led me into my archive of documents, re-reading things I have written. I would like to share one with you today. The following is an exercise in specification (learning to add detail to a description so that the reader can actually imagine themselves in the experience).
A vague, general description:
The room was a mess. There was clutter everywhere. You couldn’t even see the floor.
Specification added:
“Upon entering the room, you find that your steps are cushioned by the discarded clothes rendering the carpet invisible. You see the knit top with the embroidered butterflies and the hand-made skirt adorned with swirling nautilus-shaped blues which their owner rejected for a 10-year-old hand-me-down dress. Encircling the sea of clothes are the desks and dressers which support the treasures of childhood: Cinderella pictures colored with a surrounding array of markers, porcelain-faced Mary and her friends, a baseball card collection without Mickey Mantle and the keychain gift from Mom & Dad’s last trip. Friends and family alike enter this room with disgust or pity, but its inhabitants revel in the feeling of being surrounded by their favorite things.”2003
A vague, general description:
It was a beautiful, spring day. The flowers were blooming and the birds were singing.
Specification added:
“It was three weeks into April and the birds were rejoicing that winter was but a memory. The forsythia had welcomed us with their yellow announcement that the pear trees were soon to be waking up from their frigid slumber. As the ornamental pears burst forth covered with white blooms reminiscent of a snowfall, we were exultant that the balmy temperatures confirmed the whiteness to be flowers and not ice crystals! As we strolled outside in short sleeves, our noses inhaled the aroma of wisteria draping off the high places the vine occupied. The vibrant reminders surrounded us with the message that the dormancy of winter has past and the new life of spring is come!” 2003
Not only is the content from these writings a treasure to discover, but the lesson behind the exercise is valuable and pertinent to me today. The people around me access my inner world as I describe it. If I want to hide my true self, if I think others don’t care or if I am not in tune with my own thoughts, I will be vague in my narratives and walk away feeling hungry for intimacy while others only get to know the outside me. But if I want to open my soul with specific details about the environment in there, I can enrich my relationships with the intimacy I crave.
A vague, general description:
I missed you while you were gone. I had a hard time.
Specification added:
“When you are near me, you fill up all my senses. My whole being is poised to orient itself on your location and your disposition. My greatest joy is to be near you and to see you happy, content, satisfied, at peace. When you are in a place on this planet other than near me, a vacuum is created in my soul. My sight, my touch, my smell and my inner-most being aches with your absence. A cell phone call or email does occupy a fraction of my senses, but the majority of my consciousness longs for all of you to return to all of me.
I live and breathe each moment with a soul wide-open to the stimulus around me, sending out sonar looking for resonance to bounce back to me. Only your soul vibrates with mine and makes me feel at rest. When you are absent, my frequencies warp out-of-phase and my whole being is tilted off-balance.”2010
Does my specification make it easier to empathize with me? Do you feel that you know me better? Of course, the risk in this level of vulnerability is rejection, judgment or exploitation (to name a few), but the treasure of understanding and intimacy is worth the risk!
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